Be my Valentine

We know very little about Saint Valentine. So little in fact that, when Pope Gelasius I first decreed that February 14^th should be established as his feast day, it was with the caveat that, while his name was “justly reverenced among men”, his acts were “known only to God”.

It all sounds a bit tongue-in-cheek: perhaps the Pope didn’t really want to create a “St Valentine’s Day” but felt he had to bow to popular opinion!

The name “Valentine” means “strong” or “powerful” and was popular in Roman times. This leads to a problem as there are about a dozen different Catholic saints who bear it! One tradition says that “the” St. Valentine was an Italian bishop who performed the miracle of healing a judge’s daughter’s sight. He was also a keen evangelist who became friendly with the Emperor Claudius Gothicus and enjoyed talking with him about Christianity. However, Valentine made the mistake of telling the Emperor that he should become a Christian and be baptised; the Emperor regarded this as an insult as he thought of himself as a god and had no intention of bowing down to Jesus! For speaking so clearly and refusing to give up his own faith Valentine was executed – on February 14^th 269.

By the Middle Ages other stories about Valentine were doing the rounds. One declared that he had been imprisoned for marrying Christian couples and otherwise helping Christians who were at the time being persecuted by Claudius in Rome. A further embellishment to this tale is that the men, by getting married, were able to avoid military conscription: this didn’t go down well with the authorities at a time when soldiers were thin on the ground. One final detail suggests that, to remind these men of their marriage vows and God’s love, Valentine cut hearts from parchment and gave them to the persecuted Christians. All this would provide a good explanation for the origin of love hearts and Valentine’s cards – but did it really happen? It seems more likely that many of these legends were actually invented by Geoffrey Chaucer (of “Canterbury Tales” fame) who wrote a popular poem about Valentine’s Day.

Moira knows that I will never take her to a restaurant on Valentine’s Day. It’s not just that the tables and menu are bedecked with roses, the lights are dimmed, the music has been chosen to create a ‘romantic’ ambience – and the prices are doubled; it’s the sickly artificiality of the whole occasion. More to the point, I don’t think that this kind of soft-focussed sentimentality is really what love is all about, at least in the Christian understanding of the word. I’m not saying, of course, that romance should be ignored: the Song of Solomon shows us that God intends people to experience and enjoy that. But there’s surely more to love than the starry-eyed, bells-ringing, hormone-racing, gazing-into-each-other’s-eyes kind of thing which is fine for 18 year-olds holding hands in the back row of the cinema. Grown-up love naturally features affection and friendship, but also includes grittier qualities such as self-giving, commitment and mutual respect.

Christians, of course, believe that the gold standard for love was set by God himself, when he committed his son Jesus Christ to live among us. God had made the people of the world; but they had often disappointed or even rejected him. However, he simply couldn’t give up on humanity; his love for us led him to make the supreme sacrifice. So the Gospel story is unambiguous: Christ left the comfort and glory of heaven to live at ground level in our mucky and messy world. And he did even more, by allowing himself to be seized and put to death on the Cross. What drove him there was pure, unadulterated love. As Jesus said, the greatest expression of love that anyone can make is to give their life for their friends; but he went further and gave his life for those who had rejected him.

As Christ’s followers we are called to love each other. Indeed, deep and caring love should characterise the Church – although (as we know) it often doesn’t! Christians should be ‘giving’ people rather than ‘getting’ ones, people who look out for others rather than themselves, people who are prepared to go that extra mile in caring even when they don’t get any thanks in return. “Love is patient and kind”, writes Paul; “It is not jealous or conceited or proud, is not ill-mannered or selfish or irritable, does not keep a record of wrongs, is not happy with evil, but is happy with the truth”. And he concludes: “Love never gives up; and its faith, hope, and patience never fail”. Such is the love of Christ our Saviour. By God’s grace, can we show it and live it: not just on St. Valentine’s Day, but every day of the year?

Best wishes,

Andrew